Welcome to the Darkside

Preface

I have always done what I always wanted to do, my parents will attest to this. I’m their problem child in many ways and always have kept them on their toes. However, there was a period in my life where decisions were being made for me and not by me. These decisions were being made by my family surrounding me, external factors and internal conflict.

Day by day, I could see that I was losing control and I was taken for a ride by my emotions and external factors such as family pressure. And then finally when I was pushed into a corner and had no room to breathe, I imploded.

That was the switch that I needed to turn EVERYTHING around.

I’m not shifting the blame from me. If anything I’m owning up to it. More than ever. I was weak and the dark side of me, my inner beast was already in the driver seat.

Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting out your inner beast as long as you are in CONTROL.

Not the other way around. Your inner beast is what takes risks in life, makes the hard calls while everyone else is sitting around waiting for it to be made. But you must always stay in control.

The dark side, my inner beast continues to play. I call upon my inner beast as required. It knows its role in my life. It knows its place.

Does yours?

Let it play.

The book “Relentless” by Tim Grover inspired me to write this piece. It resonated with me and I hope this can resonate with you. And once you finish this short read, please find the book and take it for a spin. You will not be disappointed.

My darkness, my inner beast loves to play. It thrives and it never backs down. It knows its place and it knows who the master is. It is my greatest weapon and it is a part of me.

Not so seriously Notorious🔥

I was born into a family with strong ethnic and traditional values. My mother is a world renowned Indian classical dance choreographer and teacher. My father has faced off against all odds of survival to give our family a better life. My mother, who has taught 1000s of students, faced her most difficulties with her problem child.

Growing up, I had always done things that would never make sense. Especially being the younger sibling to the older “Golden” child, it was even more evident that the path I would take and the decisions I would make were questionable. My parents definitely had a handful. And they still do. I continue to keep them on their toes.

We were living in a village called Vanni before moving to Colombo. The day before our move, mostly by foot, I decided to ride my brother's bike which was definitely too big for me. I was 6 years old if I remember correctly and I had never ridden his bike before. However, that particular day I thought it was the right time.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. You know exactly how the story goes, I crash the bike into a tree and the handlebar goes into my right eye. I end up in hospital where they provide me with the biggest ‘fuck off’ eye patch that covers half my face and send me home.

My dad was not with us at the time as he was trying to find refuge overseas to bring us to him. It was my mother, grandmother, brother and myself. I gave them yet another unnecessary problem to worry about amongst our travel across country.

That’s where it started for me, making decisions and doing bizarre activities that definitely kept my family on edge. I’m sure I have done similar things when I was younger but I am not able to recall those events.

Here we are, two decades later and I continue to do and say things without their approval.

Deep, Dark and Twisted 😈 

I’m not saying I’m this notoriously bad human being. But I’m also not denying that I have a dark side. Everybody does, otherwise you are just lying to yourself.

Everybody has thoughts that absolutely nobody knows about and I’m sure you are terrified that if somebody finds out, you will be shunned. I’m not talking about your truth or dare questions, I’m talking about much deeper, darker and twisted thoughts.

Would you believe me if I told you that it is completely okay to have such thoughts. We have a moral compass that filters these ‘bad’ thoughts and allow us to live peacefully and respectfully in this society.

What if you are able to unleash this beast, this inner dark side that nobody knows about. What if you are able to control and call upon your inner beast at will whenever necessary.

That is what we are here to talk about. Letting it play, allowing it to thrive in the right environments.

I Call Upon My Beast At Will 🔔

Let me give you an example.

EelamWear is a social enterprise my family and I began 6 months ago. It is a premium clothing brand that funds all profits to our very own Empower Eelam initiative. It sounds like a noble thing right?

Well yes to the outside world it most definitely is. We are investing our own time, energy and money to help our people back at home who struggle to make ends meet.

There are many factors that play different roles in this endeavour such as providing quality clothing to my friends and family, building our creativity, bringing people of similar values together and creating change.

I know that I am blessed to have escaped from our war-torn country to a land full of opportunities and I genuinely love helping other people. It makes my heart full and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Now let me tell you that I also do this VERY selfishly. I do it because it adds value to my personal brand. It adds another element to who I am and what I do. People will associate me with this brand and this noble cause that I have embarked upon.

As they should, I mean it only makes sense. I represent the brand whole-heartedly.

This is not something everyone would be ready to admit because of the notion and the fear that society will look at them differently. Why am I admitting that? Because I want to show you all that my dark side, my inner beast was a strong catalyst in having an impact by creating small but significant changes.

What I am trying to say is that, I allowed my inner beast to come out and play to create this social enterprise. I have no problem with that and neither should you. If you are able to take control of your dark side to create significant changes and impact your society for the better, what is stopping you?

Just let it play.

Mith

“I play badminton at a competitive level and it’s really helped me get through the high intensity training sessions. Gives great focus and that extra energy. No negative side effects and it tastes amazing too! Highly recommended for anyone in the fitness space.”

Athi Selladurai: Professional Badminton Player - Australian National Team